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Woodsy sez: hooo hooo! give a hoot, sign jesus's guestbook!! Hooo Hooo!
2002-05-30 - 4:09 p.m.
Las Vegas is no match for me and my posse!
hey everyone i bet you are wondering whats been up with your ol buddy jesus these days!! well a lot actually!
me and paul decided to get a little R&R and take a vacation. we hemmed and hawed over where to go and then it dawned on us: LAS VEGAS!! we'd never been there before so we figured what the hey!! before you knew it we'd touched down in lost wages as I like to call it!
We had to find a place to say and I figured what better place for the KING OF KINGS than EXCALIBUR!! so we marched in through the castle gates, past all the kids (who told anyone that las vegas was a place for kids sheesh!) and we got our room. My bed had a coat of arms over it and paul's had a sword it was really killer.
so we decided to hit the town! Well there's something that I was soon to find out about las vegas and that's that CASINOS DO NOT LIKE TO LOSE. And what do you think happens when your ol' buddy jesus steps up to the craps table? CASINO 0 JESUS 10,000 thats right we really ran up the tally while the pit boss just kept looking more and more like that bulldog from the old looney tunes shorts the one with the little derby cap. So we got the bum's rush from Excalibur pretty quickly, and then it was ON TO CAESAR'S! we got kicked out of caesar's too, but not before i was able to really give a few of those roman guards a piece of my mind. FINALLY, a little comeuppance! Oh, we also took them for about 350 large and that's my version of the ol' stick it to the romans once and for all scheme! yup, we did that at just about every casino in town. that'll teach them to screw around with jesus! oh speaking of which las vegas must be the most religious town in america because everywhere we went people were just calling out my name and i was always like WHAT and they would just look at me funny but what can I say it must be the robe
we spent some of our winnings on some meals that would rival any we have up here (hint: CHEESECAKE FACTORY), and we saw that frenchy circus show that everyone raves about with all the folks dressed up like european peacock-people and babies and stuff they sure do know how to put on a show! also they have TONS of places to get krispy kremes in vegas and that just plain rules.
we also went to this water park that was totally wet and wild but for the life of me i cant remember what it was called they had this ride that was called THE ROYAL FLUSH and no the flush had nothing to do with gambling and everything to do with being FLUSHED DOWN A GIGANTIC TOILET BOWL! I kid you not the only way it would have been better is if it went *WHBLBLBLBLBLBL* when you went down. That's my impression of a toilet it rules
So in short i have all this extra cash and no place to spend it up here do any of you want some?
ps: i also have a new wife her name is crystal she says howdy i met her backstage at the 'crazy girls' show but for the life of me i can't remember marrying her. oh well!!