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boy oh boy is it hot enough for you guys or what!! i tell you what it sure is nice being up here in heaven this time of year because wow, what a SCORCHER!! if i didn't know better i would say that that stinker satan was down there just poke poke poking you with his sticker-stick!

i bet a lot of you are just red hot mad at your buddy jesus for being so slow updating but i have a good excuse!! first of all i have finally gotten over my divorce and decided it was time to get back on the horse again and thats just a figure of speech, i really don't even have a horse and its been a really long time since I've been on one the only other time we were at this dude ranch (don't ask) and the ranch hand gave me this horse that was apparently IN HEAT!! well i guess the mating ritual of the average horse is to be a big dickhead and BUCK JESUS OFF, because thats what happened so i just said BULL to that and walked back to the stables to wait for my buddies who made fun of me the rest of the day.

oh yeah, so anyway i have been sneaking down on saturday nights and checking out the singles scene in the big cities all over the world! its been really fun too i rode the cyclone at coney island with this charming jersey girl named Pamela (blonde, loud, nice cans), went rave clubbing in amsterdam with some hottie from denmark who had a name with lots of those vowels with the dots (and that's an entire diary entry in itself, amsterdam is quite the place let me tell you (hint: the donkey show is not a petting zoo at all)), and quite a few other places... it was a blast!! but hey that is what summer is for, right?? that and watermelon and small explosives

oh and i also have been watching the heck out of that American Idols show on Fox, and I just love that scallywag SIMON! he sure shows up paula abdul and the fattest member of the jackson five !! i sure hope that justin kid makes it he is a dreamboat!

aim: iamrealjesus

the future - the past