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2003-03-19 - 10:57 a.m.

holy crap i have a stalker!!

so check this out omg it is so spooky1!

so i am in my den sitting in my easy chair watching the a-team (it was the one where BA builds the tank out of a hot water heater a pickup truck, sand, silt, honey, and hay) and i look up right at the best part when BA is beating the stuffing out of a hired goon and i look up and lo and behold here are two beadie eyes staring at me through my window and i thought it was left eye coming to say hi (or maybe BOOTY CALL!! PARTY HORN!) but no they see me looking at them and they turn tail and head for the hills!! and so i sat back down and figured it was just paul or peter playing a little ha ha on their ol buddy jesus and i finished watching the a-team and then!! a knock at my door! so I put my robe back on and go check out what's going on and i open the door expecting to find my jerkoff friends waiting to laugh at me and its nothing but **crickets** and **tumbleweeds** and nothing else!!

so now i am starting to feel pretty freaked out about all of this i read up on all the people up here who were shot by their stalkers but then i realized that a stalker probably couldn't shoot and kill me cuz i am jesus and i am already dead and all that. so i am not scared of them hurting me but i still dont like having to close all my windows lately! i used to walk around not a care in the world! and now i have cares in the world!

does anyone know how i can get rid of a stalker??? pls email me!!! i will give the winner of the GET RID OF JESUS' STALKER contest a major award!!!

aim: iamrealjesus

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