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2004-02-06 - 12:26 a.m.

OMG Blackwolf the DRAGONMASTER!!

ok people you will not believe this but your old buddy jesus just had a lengthy conversation with none other than BLACKWOLF THE DRAGONMASTER from the Triumph the doggy video where they are outside of the star wars theatre in NYC having a few laffs at the expense of a bunch of enormous nerds!! well without further adios, here it is!!

iamreallyjesus: hello good sir!!

blackbeardian: Good morrow.

iamreallyjesus: it is I, jesus

iamreallyjesus: is it you, black wolf the dragonmaster??

blackbeardian: The very same, Nazarene.

iamreallyjesus: this is good news!!

blackbeardian: You are Jesus of Nazareth, right?

iamreallyjesus: one and the same!!

iamreallyjesus: i have entered the realm of the mortal to give my internet buddies info and cheer!!

iamreallyjesus: i have an awesome webpage it is http://www.geocities.com/iamreallyjesus

blackbeardian: Great! I'll check it out as soon as I can.

iamreallyjesus: you shall do it this very instant!!

blackbeardian: Be warned, though: As You know, Mel Gibson has finished up post-production on that movie about Your death.

iamreallyjesus: i know and i will have some words with him about it!

blackbeardian: I wonder what You'll thinnk of it.

iamreallyjesus: i had dad send some lightning bolts and whatnot and that didnt even stop him!!

iamreallyjesus: he is a son of a gun!!!

iamreallyjesus: i also have it on good authority that MISTER MEL is how shall we put it LIGHT IN THE LOAFERS

blackbeardian: Well they are going to rate it R, unfortunately. The bloodiness will be difficult to take.

blackbeardian: As I remember, I couldn't even stomach Braveheart.

iamreallyjesus: what problem did you have with braveheart?

blackbeardian: William Wallace being drawn and quartered, of course. I'm not given to destroying other living beings. I'm sure Your Dad would agree w/me.

iamreallyjesus: but what about all the sweet lovemaking between william wallace and those maidens? was that not enough to redeem the violence?

blackbeardian: In the meantime, dear Nazarene, I am in the middle of pursuing the Royalty of Mardi Gras in New Orleans & Vicinity.

iamreallyjesus: holy crap you are at mardi gras???

iamreallyjesus: are you giving out beads for maidens who show their ding dongs??

blackbeardian: No. I do not indulge in ribaldry. I'm far 2 old 4 that silly stuff.

iamreallyjesus: so what do you do during mardi gras? it is 100% ribaldry

blackbeardian: Not necessarily. If You know all about Kings & Queens

iamreallyjesus: I don't know much about kings and queens of mardi gras

iamreallyjesus: can you enlighten me quickly?

blackbeardian: Well if anyone can teach the Son of God about Mardi Gras Monarchs, it might as well b NYC's Unofficial Wizard. Now pay attention, Jesus. You're only getting ONE lesson:

iamreallyjesus: huzzah!!!!

blackbeardian: http://neworleanswebsites.com/cat/tr/mg/kr/kr.html

iamreallyjesus: ok i see lots of talk about krewes

iamreallyjesus: is that the ghetto lingo way to say 'crew' in mardi grasese???

blackbeardian: I want You 2 look @ the page, see which Royal Krewes r 2 Your liking, & then e-mail me back if You approve of those You call Your Favorites. Got it?

iamreallyjesus: which krewe are you in??

blackbeardian: None of them. The Royalty itself just gets me interested, as do the apprently wonderful royal robes worn by each King and Queen.

blackbeardian: And remember, it is ALWAYS spelled "K-R-E-W-E."

iamreallyjesus: well this sounds very festive! do they hold court and have feasts and banquets?

iamreallyjesus: just like the best donut in the world is spelled K-R-I-S-P-Y K-R-E-M-E?

blackbeardian: Indeed they do. Most of them r by invitation only, so You need 2 know how 2 pick the cool 1s & the uncool 1s. Most of the latter r the newer Krewes who don't even adhere 2 the trappings of Royalty.

iamreallyjesus: so what makes a krewe cool or uncool?

blackbeardian: Of course, the Two Really Coolest Krewes are Rex and Zulu.

iamreallyjesus: what makes them such kewl krewes?

blackbeardian: Their Royal Balls are the hardest to get into. You have 2 be 1 of New Orleans' more upstanding citizens ---- some1 who gives back 2 their community.

iamreallyjesus: please tell me you wear one of those enormous heads in the mardi gras parade

iamreallyjesus: ohhh you mean like trent reznor and ann rice

blackbeardian: Alas no. The Parades disappoint me, unfortunately. I blame the Travel Channel. Loooooooong story.

iamreallyjesus: WHAT!?

iamreallyjesus: but the travel channel has world poker tour and samantha brown's tours of great hotels!!

iamreallyjesus: and they had an awesome special on jets

blackbeardian: No You don't understand. They used to show the "live" feed from the local Fox station in New Orleans.

iamreallyjesus: YOU SIR OFFEND ME

iamreallyjesus: they did?? with the ding dongs and everything??

iamreallyjesus: thats pretty progressive of them dont you think

iamreallyjesus: i mean thats like janet jackson and TIMBERLAKE's stunt times a thousand

blackbeardian: Yes they had it all --- until the Discovery Channel bought the Travel Channel from its original owners.

iamreallyjesus: ok but I still don't see how that ruined it for you

blackbeardian: Then they messed around with the "live feed" until it became a 3-hour special with some Hollywood type reading from a prepared script.

iamreallyjesus: ohhhhh just like the macy's parade except with no kermit or garfield

iamreallyjesus: well then to be fair you should be mad at discovery and not the travel channel

blackbeardian: Agreed. Discovery has become a tentacled corporate $%$^&#

iamreallyjesus: let out the anger, blackwolf!

blackbeardian: I would but honestly I'm too tired.

iamreallyjesus: so what do you think about the whole janet jackson SCANDAL?

blackbeardian: Let's NOT talk about her, dear Nazarene. I have already puked myself to the point of fury about that horrible mess.

iamreallyjesus: you really puked over it?

iamreallyjesus: that seems like a pretty violent reaction!

blackbeardian: You would not wish 2 see me exhibit Mage rage in person, Nazarene. The noise would b far worse than Your screams when You were being nailed.

iamreallyjesus: MAGE RAGE!! well that would be quite a sight to behold, have you ever enacted mage rage on anyone else during your travels?

blackbeardian: Far 2 many times than I care 2 count.

iamreallyjesus: what caused your last fit of mage rage??

iamreallyjesus: for I'll have you know i fancy myself something of a magician/wizard myself

blackbeardian: Not everybody appreciates the fact that I'm the only Wizard kickin' butt for ye Byg Appyl on a 24/7 basis.

iamreallyjesus: and i have shown mighty restraint with my powers, utilizing them only to transmogrify liquids and raise the dead

iamreallyjesus: but if i ever witnessed a rogue wizard such as yourself in this state of so-called mage rage i might have to step in and put the smack DOWN

blackbeardian: Ah yes we all know that 1. Y'know Nazarene this has been fun but I can't keep this conversation up 4ever.

iamreallyjesus: well yes, it has been fun!

blackbeardian: I do have the morning 2 prepare 4, You know.

iamreallyjesus: i will let you rest up for your banquets with the kings queens knaves dukes dutchesses and hooters

blackbeardian: Thank you King of Kings & Lord of Lords

iamreallyjesus: but i will be keeping an eye on you!!!

blackbeardian: I would expect no less. Farewell!

iamreallyjesus: so no mage rage, you hear???


aim: iamrealjesus

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