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2004-02-06 - 12:26 a.m.
OMG Blackwolf the DRAGONMASTER!!
ok people you will not believe this but your old buddy jesus just had a lengthy conversation with none other than BLACKWOLF THE DRAGONMASTER from the Triumph the doggy video where they are outside of the star wars theatre in NYC having a few laffs at the expense of a bunch of enormous nerds!! well without further adios, here it is!!
iamreallyjesus: hello good sir!!
blackbeardian: Good morrow.
iamreallyjesus: it is I, jesus
iamreallyjesus: is it you, black wolf the dragonmaster??
blackbeardian: The very same, Nazarene.
iamreallyjesus: this is good news!!
blackbeardian: You are Jesus of Nazareth, right?
iamreallyjesus: one and the same!!
iamreallyjesus: i have entered the realm of the mortal to give my internet buddies info and cheer!!
iamreallyjesus: i have an awesome webpage it is http://www.geocities.com/iamreallyjesus
blackbeardian: Great! I'll check it out as soon as I can.
iamreallyjesus: you shall do it this very instant!!
blackbeardian: Be warned, though: As You know, Mel Gibson has finished up post-production on that movie about Your death.
iamreallyjesus: i know and i will have some words with him about it!
blackbeardian: I wonder what You'll thinnk of it.
iamreallyjesus: i had dad send some lightning bolts and whatnot and that didnt even stop him!!
iamreallyjesus: he is a son of a gun!!!
iamreallyjesus: i also have it on good authority that MISTER MEL is how shall we put it LIGHT IN THE LOAFERS
blackbeardian: Well they are going to rate it R, unfortunately. The bloodiness will be difficult to take.
blackbeardian: As I remember, I couldn't even stomach Braveheart.
iamreallyjesus: what problem did you have with braveheart?
blackbeardian: William Wallace being drawn and quartered, of course. I'm not given to destroying other living beings. I'm sure Your Dad would agree w/me.
iamreallyjesus: but what about all the sweet lovemaking between william wallace and those maidens? was that not enough to redeem the violence?
blackbeardian: In the meantime, dear Nazarene, I am in the middle of pursuing the Royalty of Mardi Gras in New Orleans & Vicinity.
iamreallyjesus: holy crap you are at mardi gras???
iamreallyjesus: are you giving out beads for maidens who show their ding dongs??
blackbeardian: No. I do not indulge in ribaldry. I'm far 2 old 4 that silly stuff.
iamreallyjesus: so what do you do during mardi gras? it is 100% ribaldry
blackbeardian: Not necessarily. If You know all about Kings & Queens
iamreallyjesus: I don't know much about kings and queens of mardi gras
iamreallyjesus: can you enlighten me quickly?
blackbeardian: Well if anyone can teach the Son of God about Mardi Gras Monarchs, it might as well b NYC's Unofficial Wizard. Now pay attention, Jesus. You're only getting ONE lesson:
iamreallyjesus: ok i see lots of talk about krewes
iamreallyjesus: is that the ghetto lingo way to say 'crew' in mardi grasese???
blackbeardian: I want You 2 look @ the page, see which Royal Krewes r 2 Your liking, & then e-mail me back if You approve of those You call Your Favorites. Got it?
iamreallyjesus: which krewe are you in??
blackbeardian: None of them. The Royalty itself just gets me interested, as do the apprently wonderful royal robes worn by each King and Queen.
blackbeardian: And remember, it is ALWAYS spelled "K-R-E-W-E."
iamreallyjesus: well this sounds very festive! do they hold court and have feasts and banquets?
iamreallyjesus: just like the best donut in the world is spelled K-R-I-S-P-Y K-R-E-M-E?
blackbeardian: Indeed they do. Most of them r by invitation only, so You need 2 know how 2 pick the cool 1s & the uncool 1s. Most of the latter r the newer Krewes who don't even adhere 2 the trappings of Royalty.
iamreallyjesus: so what makes a krewe cool or uncool?
blackbeardian: Of course, the Two Really Coolest Krewes are Rex and Zulu.
iamreallyjesus: what makes them such kewl krewes?
blackbeardian: Their Royal Balls are the hardest to get into. You have 2 be 1 of New Orleans' more upstanding citizens ---- some1 who gives back 2 their community.
iamreallyjesus: please tell me you wear one of those enormous heads in the mardi gras parade
iamreallyjesus: ohhh you mean like trent reznor and ann rice
blackbeardian: Alas no. The Parades disappoint me, unfortunately. I blame the Travel Channel. Loooooooong story.
iamreallyjesus: but the travel channel has world poker tour and samantha brown's tours of great hotels!!
iamreallyjesus: and they had an awesome special on jets
blackbeardian: No You don't understand. They used to show the "live" feed from the local Fox station in New Orleans.
iamreallyjesus: YOU SIR OFFEND ME
iamreallyjesus: they did?? with the ding dongs and everything??
iamreallyjesus: thats pretty progressive of them dont you think
iamreallyjesus: i mean thats like janet jackson and TIMBERLAKE's stunt times a thousand
blackbeardian: Yes they had it all --- until the Discovery Channel bought the Travel Channel from its original owners.
iamreallyjesus: ok but I still don't see how that ruined it for you
blackbeardian: Then they messed around with the "live feed" until it became a 3-hour special with some Hollywood type reading from a prepared script.
iamreallyjesus: ohhhhh just like the macy's parade except with no kermit or garfield
iamreallyjesus: well then to be fair you should be mad at discovery and not the travel channel
blackbeardian: Agreed. Discovery has become a tentacled corporate $%$^
iamreallyjesus: let out the anger, blackwolf!
blackbeardian: I would but honestly I'm too tired.
iamreallyjesus: so what do you think about the whole janet jackson SCANDAL?
blackbeardian: Let's NOT talk about her, dear Nazarene. I have already puked myself to the point of fury about that horrible mess.
iamreallyjesus: you really puked over it?
iamreallyjesus: that seems like a pretty violent reaction!
blackbeardian: You would not wish 2 see me exhibit Mage rage in person, Nazarene. The noise would b far worse than Your screams when You were being nailed.
iamreallyjesus: MAGE RAGE!! well that would be quite a sight to behold, have you ever enacted mage rage on anyone else during your travels?
blackbeardian: Far 2 many times than I care 2 count.
iamreallyjesus: what caused your last fit of mage rage??
iamreallyjesus: for I'll have you know i fancy myself something of a magician/wizard myself
blackbeardian: Not everybody appreciates the fact that I'm the only Wizard kickin' butt for ye Byg Appyl on a 24/7 basis.
iamreallyjesus: and i have shown mighty restraint with my powers, utilizing them only to transmogrify liquids and raise the dead
iamreallyjesus: but if i ever witnessed a rogue wizard such as yourself in this state of so-called mage rage i might have to step in and put the smack DOWN
blackbeardian: Ah yes we all know that 1. Y'know Nazarene this has been fun but I can't keep this conversation up 4ever.
iamreallyjesus: well yes, it has been fun!
blackbeardian: I do have the morning 2 prepare 4, You know.
iamreallyjesus: i will let you rest up for your banquets with the kings queens knaves dukes dutchesses and hooters
blackbeardian: Thank you King of Kings & Lord of Lords
iamreallyjesus: but i will be keeping an eye on you!!!
blackbeardian: I would expect no less. Farewell!
iamreallyjesus: so no mage rage, you hear???
iamreallyjesus: FAREWELL FAIR BLACKWOLF THE DRAGONMASTER UNOFFICIAL WIZARD OF NEW YORK CITY AND ALL POINTS SOUTH