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2004-11-18 - 10:23 p.m.

things you can do to kill the pain, america!!

HOO NELLY IT'S GONNA BE A LONG FOUR YEARS (no slight to you dubyah, but lets face it you are worse at running the country than you are at the mortal kombat (JESUS RULES!!) SO LETS GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS! your ol buddy jesus has ways to keep your mind off of the US OF A going south of hades on a freight express!

watching anything that is not the newsmedia i recommend chevy chase and his adorable vacation movies!!

drugs and hooch! that's right jesus is endorsing the use of drugs ohhhhh noes!! but they dull the hurt, believe you me

completely schooling your best friends (yeah thats right bitches!) at the video game of your choice and then yelling at them and then they start crying and then you laugh ha ha ha

visiting your local ranch and helping a rancher help a cow give birth to a calf, the miracle of life is a wonder to behold and then you can mail the afterbirth to bush with a sign that says 'you' on it

hitting it and then quitting it and then hitting it again and then maybe quitting it before hitting it.

taking a field trip to washington DC and then mooning the white house and then also visiting the national air and space museum because it is awesomesauce

going on a trip and checking into a hotel and then trashing it aerosmith style!! i mean it if the tv isnt in the road then you FAILED

pay for a new car in nickels

stalking your favorite celebrity and then giving them a secret haircut

looking at side by side photos of Lionel Richie from 1984 and 2004 and wondering where all the wrinkles went

help the internet re-label all the mp3s because they are ALL WRONG and heres a hint to get you all started: weird al did not write every novelty song in existence!

start a local movement wherein everyone starts dressing up like they are from the turn of the century especially those weird fullbody bathing suits with the stripes

visit las vegas (but not like nick cage i dont want any of you to do any of that!! its only four years it is not that bad)

shake 'em while you got 'em

learn that brad pitt actually has some pretty hilarious body odor OH NOOOOOOOOOOHOOOO, i did that for you sorry BRAD the joke is on you now!

pick a fight with david copperfield, PWN3D

sneak into someone's hot tub with a few friends and a bottle of tequila and some sombreros and have a FIESTA until the SUN COMES UP! note: i will not bail you out of jail

if anyone has any more ideas, leave me some notes!! together we will make ourselves feel better until you have the shot at taking your country back... again, again.

love always

aim: iamrealjesus

the future - the past

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