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hola amigos!! its me, your old homie the jesus comin at you with rhymes and rhythm from da heart! i have been learning a thing or two from my new girl buddy left eye! she has been teaching me how to talk like i am from the streets!! try this on for size:

yo whaddap b-yatches dis be da king o da kings BOOYAH all up in this MOFO!!

see, isnt that cool? she and i have been having lots of fun lately and she hasnt burned down my house yet which is awful nice of her dont you think?? but we've decided not to be boyfriend girlfriend anymore it was just too stressful for her!! hey did you ever notice that dennis hopper and owen wilson look like they could be father and son?? sorry about that but i am watching the SPEED and they have the same face!

anyway none of that is what i want to talk about! i want to talk about WAR! HUH, GOOD GOD, what is it good forrrrabsolutely NUTHIN, but i wont say that again.

i really think you all down there need to just SETTLE DOWN and that means you mister man bush man! i know you and i are good buds and all that and you know i can whup your hiney at mortal kombat so dont you step! i tell you what things sure would be better down there if you all didnt have to show off what big balls you both have! i have a solution!! you both should enter into one of those lumberjack competitions! think of it! Saddam and George! plaid flannel! hatchets and axes! the one who can roll the longest on the floaty log wins! now wouldnt that be easier than Operation Blow Up People?? we up here sure think so.

so anyway thats all i have to say about taht, but just trust me war isnt christian as much as people seem to think it is.

OKIE DONKEY, that's it so who wants to come help me bake a pie? i am the king of kings but i am lousy in the kitchen.

-jesus

aim: iamrealjesus

the future - the past